Woke Up Grateful Today... Genuinely

Woke up grateful today. Genuinely.

A few months ago I was quietly grieving a season where I worked hard, sowed deeply, and never got to eat what I planted. It hurt more than I let on.

But I have made peace with it. Because if none of that happened the way it did, I would not be here. 

I think we underestimate how much it takes out of a person to give their best to something and walk away with nothing to show for it.

Not because they failed. Not because they did not try hard enough. But simply because the timing was not right, or the ground was not ready, or life moved in a direction nobody planned for.

That kind of loss does not always get acknowledged. There is no name for it really. It sits somewhere between disappointment and grief, and most people will never even know you are carrying it.

I carried it quietly.

But here is what happened when I stopped trying to rush past the feeling and actually sat with it.

I started to see the thread...

Every hard thing. Every door that closed too soon. Every harvest I never got to taste. They were not wasted. They were wiring something in me. Building something I could not see at the time because I was too close to the loss to see the layout.

If that chapter had ended differently, I would not be here. And here is good. Here is really, really good.

That understanding did not erase the grief. But it gave it a purpose. And that was enough to make peace with it.

So I will wait... Knowing that when the time is right, the harvest will come... and it will be more than enough. 😌🙏🏽

If you are in the middle of a season where you are pouring in and cannot yet see the return, I want you to hear this.

Your labour is not lost. Your effort is not wasted. The ground remembers everything you planted.

The harvest is coming. Wait for it.

730 Days. Two years... I survived

730 days.

Two years.

I survived...

And not just barely, I came through the other side of something that tried to convince me I was the problem. That I was too much, or not enough, or somehow unlovable. I believed it for a long time. 

But my story changed. And now I know... I was never damaged. I just hadn't been loved properly yet. Loved in a way that lets you rest. Loved in a way that feels safe enough to be fully yourself. 

Loved in a way that reflects back to you what you always deserved. That kind of love exists, girlies. I am living proof. 😌

Don't give up on it. But please, do not enslave yourself chasing it either. You should never have to shrink, suffer, or beg for something that is supposed to feel like home.

Real love feels like exhaling.

Real love feels like rest.

Real love lets you live fully inside your femininity without fighting for your place in it.

I have that now. And I want it for every single one of you.

I love you. 🤍

Just Another Day, But With A Little Extra Weight

Time definitely has a way of wrapping itself around our hearts, doesn't it?

Today, I find myself standing at the crossroads of memories...

It's weird how a date on the calendar can stir up so much.

Some days, it feels like it was a lifetime ago, and others, like it was yesterday.

There's a quiet ache, a soft echo of moments that were, and a gentle sigh for those that won't be.

The heart holds a strange mix of pain and a fragile sense of release. 

It's a day for gentle reflection, for allowing the feelings to surface, to acknowledge the weight of memories, and to find the calm moments between them.

In the midst of the uncertainty, I'm reminded that every ending marks a new beginning. 

And maybe, just maybe, this chapter will lead me to a place where the heart can heal, and the soul can soar once more.

Today is just another day, but with a little extra weight.

X.O.X.O

Lama

First Outing Of The Year... In December!

My first real outing in 2024 didn’t happen until December.  

After a long, exhausting year packed with back-to-back events, I finally decided to take a breather.

A friend invited me to the beach in the beautiful city of Lagos, and I thought, why not? It felt like the perfect escape.🤷🏽‍♀️

Honestly, I needed it. The year had been long, trying, and tiring, and this was my chance to unwind and step into the new year feeling refreshed.  

And guess what? I had an absolute blast! I met some amazing people, soaked in the vibes, and realized that going out isn’t as bad as it seems... even for an introvert like me! 😫🙈

It’s funny how I spend my days planning events and handling parties, yet deep down, I love my quiet moments. 🤫😌

Here’s to 2025, new adventures, new connections, and more reasons to step out of my comfort zone! 🥂

X.O.X.O

Lama

Weird Much

Well, this is just banter, really...

So, here’s the thing... I’m weird. Or at least, I think I am. I like and do weird things that make sense only to me. For instance, I genuinely enjoy the smell of a refuse dump or anything that smells bad (yes, I know, don’t ask).  

I love being in my own bubble, lost in my thoughts. Honestly, I could stay in my home for years without feeling the need to interact with people. And I’d be perfectly fine.  

I love cooking, but here’s the twist, I hardly eat. I can go days without feeling hungry or even thinking about food. Weird, right?  

There are days when I’m on top of the world, buzzing with happiness, and other days when I’m buried in sadness. No in-between.  

Sex? Oh, I love it, but lately, let’s just say it’s been a drought, and guess what? I’m oddly okay with that too. Told you, I’m weird.  

I’m a serial dabbler. I can’t stick to one thing at a time. I have about 17 business Instagram pages (crazy, I know), and 6 or 7 of them are active. The rest? Well, I’ll get to them eventually.  

I do quirky things like liking social media posts just to make the numbers a round figure. If I see 199 likes, I’ll like the post just to make it 200. I also like posts just because they don’t have enough likes, and I imagine it’ll make the poster happy.  

Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever have millions of naira/dollars just chilling in my account. And then I ask myself, “Why am I working so hard again?”  

I believe in living life on your own terms. No manual, no rules, just vibes. After all, we only get this one life.  

Now, religion? That’s a tricky one. I grew up in a Christian home, but I’m not so sure where I stand. I love the idea of God, but I don’t entirely believe. It’ll take a lot to make me understand it all. 

Marriage? I still don't think it's cut out for me. I think I’m just too much of a free spirit, but who knows?

Kids? Not really my thing, but I had one to stop family members from bugging me. Now? I love my child to the moon and back.  

I’m a certified night crawler... up most nights and almost never napping during the day.  

I’m a hopeless romantic. I love *love*. I binge romantic movies, Google the actors, and lowkey hope they’re a couple in real life. 

The irony? I love horror movies just as much as I love romantic movies. I can't seem to explain this one.

I love my simple life, but I still wonder what it’s like to never work a day in your life, or to be a billionaire.

Deep down, I think I just want to be a babygirl. Just enjoy life without worrying about money.

Like I said, just banter.  

XOXO,  

Lama.

8 

Grateful 🙏🏽

Where Do I Even Begin?

2020 has been an incredibly long and challenging year for so many, myself included. But today, on this first day of December, I feel nothing but gratitude for being alive to witness it.  

At the end of 2019, I had a grand vision—personal growth, business expansion (for those who don’t know, I’m an event planner in Nigeria; IG: @laheiress), and so much more.  

We usually take our family vacation in January, but because I had a packed schedule with three events that month, we decided to postpone it to February. By then, whispers of COVID-19 were circulating, but my husband didn’t take it as seriously as I did. I, on the other hand, was masked up throughout our trip.  

By the end of February, COVID-19 had become a full-blown threat. I was terrified because we had events lined up back-to-back until May. I started panicking about how we would manage postponements, especially since everything was already set in motion.  

When lockdown was officially announced on March 20th, I was thrown into a whirlwind. We had an event scheduled the very next day! Despite my advice, the couple was adamant about proceeding. But after all the planning, who could blame them?  

We faced a massive challenge when the event hall denied us access after the décor was set up. We had to move everything to the groom’s father’s compound, which could only accommodate 50 people. Imagine cutting down a 700-guest wedding to 50! It seemed impossible, but somehow, we pulled it off. (The details of how we managed are a story for another day.)  

Then came the lockdown. With both my husband and I in the events industry, everything ground to a halt. That’s when I pivoted, starting to sell COVID-19 essentials. It turned out to be a massive hit—from sanitizers to face masks and eventually producing our own face shields.  

I also started an Instagram blog (@lamagists), covering the Big Brother Naija show and other trending news. The blog took off, and I even started making money from advertisements.  

Despite the success, something shifted within me. Selling COVID-19 essentials gave me a sense of purpose I hadn’t felt in a while, even in my event planning business. Slowly, a void began to grow. I felt unfulfilled, and eventually, I sank into a deep depression.  

My husband tried to help, reminding me of how much I earned from event planning. My mom, on the other hand, took a religious approach. But I felt alone in my struggles.  

The only person who seemed to understand was my sister, but she was already dealing with her own trauma after losing her best friend to depression. I felt selfish for burdening her, so I withdrew entirely.  

I spiraled, crying for days, skipping showers, and feeling completely unmotivated. The darkest thoughts crept in, and one night, I genuinely contemplated ending it all. I was tired, unfulfilled, and overwhelmed by sadness. I couldn’t even put a name to what I was feeling—depression? Midlife crisis? I didn’t know.  

The only thing that stopped me was my son. As I watched him sleep, the thought of someone else raising him tore me apart. When he stretched out his little hands in his sleep, searching for me, I broke down. I put the bottle down and cried bitterly.  

That night, I resolved to fight back. I started reading about how to cope with depression and other feelings I couldn’t explain. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m much better now. I still have tough days, but I know brighter ones are ahead.  

The turning point for me was realizing the value of the little things I had taken for granted... moments of joy, small victories, and the people who care about me. I’ve decided to focus on those and live each day as it comes, without overthinking or over-worrying about tomorrow.  

To everyone who noticed my absence from social media and reached out, thank you. Your kindness means more than you know.  

To anyone struggling with similar feelings, please know that suicide is never the answer. If you can, check on your loved ones, they may need it more than you realize.  

Here’s to a brighter, more beautiful 2021! 💃💃💃  

Love,  

Lama

Pregnancy, Phobias and the Joy of a New Born Baby!

My Phobia

Many of you must have been wondering where I have been. Well, I recently had a baby.

I never in a thousand years thought I would ever be a mother. For some reason, pregnancy and labour scared me shitless. It became a phobia that I nursed and allowed to get the best of me.

As a result, when I got married in 2015/2016, having a baby just wasn't in the books for me. I never thought I would be a mother. I thought I could never love a child more than I love myself, because for me, that was the only reason any lady should want to be a mother.

The Pregnancy

Early this year, when I discovered that I was pregnant, it was a battle for me. A battle between removing the foetus and keeping it. I just didn't feel ready. I needed to be emotionally ready to bring a child into the world and I just wasn't feeling ready.

At about 9 weeks, I decided to inform my parents because that was the only way I wasn't going to abort the foetus.

Weeks flew into months, I had the worst first trimester, spat all through the entire 10 months, vommited like there was no tomorrow, heartburn from beginning to end, the nausea was epic!

As the due date approached, I became very scared. I wondered about a lot of things... If I would die during childbirth, what the child would look like, if he would be deformed (well, I wasn't exactly faithful to my prenatal meds), I wondered how having a baby would affect my business.

At some point, I actually thought it was a calabash inside me, because I just could not bring myself to believe that a human was growing inside of me... 

But in all of this, one thing remained constant, I just wanted the baby to be fine even if it meant me not being fine. 

The Delivery

On the delivery day, I walked into the theatre thinking, this may be the end of me or the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in my life.

When the baby was born and the doctor asked me if I would like to carry my child, my reaction was, "Ewww, God no! Please have him cleaned up. Thank you."

I felt nothing! Then it hit me, I am a mother! I panicked! How did this happen? I never even thought I would ever keep a pregnancy let alone have a baby.

For the first two days, I was too tired and the scary part was, I felt no emotion whatsoever towards my baby. I was beginning to feel that something was wrong with me. I felt sad. It felt as if I wasn't capable of loving my own child.

The Healing

And then it changed! The nurse came in on the third day to take the baby's vitals and she had a worrisome look on her face. The way I jumped out of the bed was enough to tell me that somewhere deep down, this was love in its purest form.

The baby was fine apparently, I was the one that needed healing. I kept thinking what if something happened to my child, I won't forgive myself for not showing the poor baby some love.

And in that moment, I felt love like I have never felt before. It was an overwhelming feeling. 

That was the moment I got over my worst phobia. I would do this over again just to feel the way I feel now. Being able to love another more than you love yourself is the most selfless feeling in the world and I wont trade that for anything.

I love you baby Olamishile.

Motherhood: It's been a lonely and life changing road for me

Sigh.

I don't even know where to begin.

This past year of motherhood has taken something from me. I want to be honest about that... not because I don't love my son, but because I think too many women are suffering quietly behind a smile and a "I'm managing."

I am not always managing.

Some days I wonder if I am built for this. Not because I don't love him fiercely... but because society hands you a baby and simultaneously hands you an impossible standard. And then other women, the ones who should understand most, become the loudest critics. That part hurt more than I expected.

My first real battle was adjusting to a life I could no longer recognise as mine.

I still haven't fully figured it out.

No help. No village. Just me, running on almost no sleep, waking up to bathe him, bathe myself, cook, pack two bags, and show up to my business like I had a full night's rest. Every single day. And because I was exclusively breastfeeding and he refused a bottle, I carried him everywhere... long trips, work commitments, everything. My body was not my own. My time was not my own.

I am an entrepreneur. I built my life around freedom and intention. Losing control of my own schedule... not even being able to jump in the shower without planning it... broke something in me a little. I won't pretend otherwise.

My second battle was loneliness dressed up as being surrounded by people.

My husband tries. He genuinely does. But trying and being enough are not always the same thing. And what I needed... what I still need sometimes, is just someone to look me in the eye and say you are doing a great job today. Not once. Regularly. Because this job has no performance review, no salary, and no days off.

I stopped reaching out because it felt like no one would truly understand. My mother's generation was taught to carry it and keep moving. She had three of us and didn't complain. I know that. But silence is not strength. It is just silence.

And can we talk about the weight of it all for a moment?

We work. We build. We come home and we cook and clean and organise and nurture and hold everything together... and we are not supposed to be tired. We are not supposed to have hard days. We are not supposed to say this is too much.

But it is sometimes too much.

And saying that out loud does not make me a bad mother. It makes me an honest one.

I am still here. Still showing up. Still learning.

But I am also still human. And I needed to say that. 🤍

Diary Of A Wedding Planner

Did I Always Know I'd Be an Event Planner?

For those who’ve wondered if I always knew I’d end up as an event planner, the answer is a big NO!  

I never thought wedding planning would be my career path. But life is full of surprises... things change, people change, passions evolve, and all these changes shape who we become.  

I started out running an ushering agency, and while it was doing okay, I felt unchallenged. It was too easy to get ladies to become ushers, and at some point, it seemed like everyone was doing it. If there’s one thing I dislike, it’s doing something that feels easy. I crave challenges, they fuel me.  

That desire for something more led me to the event industry. During my days running the ushering agency, I realized how much I enjoyed making guests feel comfortable and ensuring events ran smoothly. Those moments gave me joy.  

Still, I didn’t immediately think of becoming an event planner. But as time passed and my passion for events, especially weddings grew, I decided to take the leap and follow that spark.  

I didn’t have the funds for professional training. So, I trained myself. I devoured anything I could find about weddings, bought old wedding magazines, and spent hours reading.  

I remember asking a friend of mine, Dr. Niyi, who wasn’t even in the country at the time, to send me wedding magazines. He thought it was such an unusual request, but he got them for me anyway. (Thank you, Dr. Niyi!)  

Every night, I read for at least two hours. Those magazines and articles became my training ground. Today, I can proudly say I’m a self-taught wedding planner. I learned everything on the job, through trial and error, and sheer determination.  

The journey wasn’t easy... far from it. From struggling to find clients to making major mistakes, I quickly realized that what I read in those magazines was very different from what working at actual events taught me.  

But those challenges shaped me into the planner I am today. And now, I’m excited to share that journey with you in the upcoming episodes of my Wedding Planning Diary.

Stay tuned as I dive into the lessons, mistakes, and wins that have defined my career so far.  

With love,  

Olamide,

The Journey (Series 7)

Let me start by apologising for the long break, I have been so busy with weddings but I am back now. Thank you for all the mails, it has also encouraged me to create time to write.

So where were we? Ha ha! My gbese (debt). Over 200k in debt, I knew I had to start something and fast too. I was able to save up a little money from my previous job (an advert executive at one of the foremost fashion magazine, Wow! Magazine.

I have always saved money from coins to notes (thank you daddy for buying us piggy banks from or tender ages)

I had about N80,000 saved up and I paid part of the debt with N70,000 and kept N10,000 for other unforeseen circumstances that may come up.

I decided to come up with another method of advertising what I did. I talked and wrote about our services and why it was a necessity to have hostesses at events and people were beginning to buy the idea and then the big break came! 

This was in April 2015, please be reminded that the first audition was in July 2013. So this was almost two years after. 

So after the last free ushering job in April, 2015, I got another call from a wedding planning company. They wanted to use my hostesses! I was delighted! I charged a sum of 6k per hostess. It was a two day event, so I was paid for two days each for the hostesses. The agreed but I still didn't have the required outfits and colour. I bought each outfit for N1,500/outfit (for the white outfit), and also spent N1,800/outfit for the traditional attire. so I was left with N4,500 and N4,200 respectively.

I paid the hostesses N8,000 each for both days. Not much profit but it was something. 

After the job, I continued with the advertisment, letting people understand the importance of hostesses at events and somehow, more doors started opening. We had atleast 6 or 8 jobs from April till December. It was a relief. We also had about 5 weddings that we planned. 

In my next few posts, I will be talking about my wedding planning journey. 

In all, perseverance pays eventually. It may be hard at first, you may derail from the initial passion into other things, people may not believe in your dream (and honestly, they dont have to) as long as you believe. 

Keep at it. Persevere and be ready for all the hardwork, disappointments and delays that may come with trying something new.

And with God on your side, you will succeed eventually.

Love,

Olamide~ The Heiress

The Journey (Series 6)

You can't spell Challenge without Change.

The break or so I thought.

I started getting the attention of potential buyers, started taking orders and ordering from this online store. Hmmmn, the suffer wey I suffer no be small. I ordered for so many items at once because my customers just kept placing orders. My first set of orders were accessories. It took forever to get to Nigeria. 

Eventually, after about 7 weeks, they eventually arrived but to my surprise, they looked totally different from what the online picture displayed. I was devastated. 

How do I explain to the customer who had waited for almost two months that her goods were not the same thing and there must have been a mix up somewhere. Eventually, I had to return the money. (first loss)

That did not stop me, I forged ahead and ordered for more things, including bridal wears for some brides, I had calculated at most two months maximum for the goods to arrive, but to my disappointment, the goods never arrived. I had disappointed a bride, I was crushed. I apologised profusely but it all fell on deaf ears (Who could blame her). I had to yet again return money to another customer.

I was always tensed and these customers won't stop calling to ask when their items would be delivered. It was always one issue or the other. If it was not the size, then the material will be inferior or not the same design as what was ordered for. I still have items in my closet that arrived late or wasn't the actual size ordered for, that I had to return money for.

Then I decided to try Dubai, I thought to myself, if one door closes, another will open. It opened alright but... I don't know which was worse. I was introduced to someone in the business and he lived in Dubai, what he did for me was to go to their market, send pictures of what they had in stock and send to me. 

I would advertise and get customers to make payments and then would send the money to him to purchase these goods and send to me in Nigeria. The first few times went smoothly but subsequently, his clientele base grew and he started mixing orders. I once had about 20 handbags mixed with my orders and I had to pay customs for clearing these items. 

I was angry, unhappy and grumpy. I was not fulfilled and I was spending money that I did not have.

During this trying period, one thing that remained constant was the fact that I still wanted to continue the ushering business. It always kept rearing its beautiful head to tell me that she was still waiting for me to return to my first love. *big grin*

It was on one of these disappointing encounters with another customer that I decided that enough was enough and I was going to face La' Heiress squarely. 

By this time, I was in debt. I had no money. I had spent all I had on the Personal shopping business and I still needed to pay off debts incurred from my disappointed clients.

I thought it was the end, where was I going to get money to pay off my debts, I was the definition of "temi ba mi". 

It was a verying period for me, over 200k debt. 200k may look small but it was a lot of money to me then. I contemplated committing suicide but I guess I loved life too much to take my own life. Lol

To be continued...

The Journey (Series 5)

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

The journey was indeed slow. Slower than I thought, I started appreciating all the business owners that I knew. That was when I knew that life was not all roses and one had to be prepared for the thorns as well.

I had a friend Bola (now my closest friend), who was into the same ushering business. Whenever she had a job, she will ask me to provide some hostesses, so I got to advertise her jobs on my social media platforms. 

Nobody needed to know who brought in the jobs as long as they kept coming and people continued believing in the brand. That was all that mattered at the time.

After our first job, there were about 5 other jobs in the period of a year. One of which was in Osogbo. I charged less, ran into huge debts, transported the hostesses all the way to Osogbo in my aunt's bus and back to Ibadan. ( the bus consumed so much fuel that I had silently wished we used the public transportation system instead). I was sad but happy because I was able to get another set of outfits, which also meant a new set of pictures.

In Osogbo

With six Jobs in a year! I knew I had to do something and fast! I couldn't continue like this. I decided to take on a couple of jobs for free the following year (2015) and it wasn't easy. I had to explain to my hostesses my plans and why I had to do it. Some understood while some simply made up excuses not to come on the days they were needed. 

A big shout out to our La' Heiress hostesses who stayed with us when the going was tough! Perpectua, Anastacia, Oyinkan, Busayo, Rose... My love for you girls is priceless!

Three free jobs and I now had pictures that I could show potential clients. I felt I had arrived, that the jobs will be flying in now that I had some pictures but little did I know that I was still VERY wrong! This was in 2015.

1st Free Job (January)

2nd Free Job (January)

3rd Free Job (April)

I waited and waited, continued my vigorous advertisement but all to no avail. I was frustrated, devasted, angry with myself for making yet another mistake (or so I thought). Then I got tired, I gave up and decided to venture into other things and this was when I decided to go into Personal Shopping fully. 

I had ventured into personal shopping sometimes in 2014 but it was supposed to be a side business. I had saved up some cash from my advertising job with a Media Agency (WOW! Media Concepts) and also from my youth service, so I felt ready to launch my new business. 

I got to know about a popular online store that sold anything and everything you could think of and without much enquiries, I went in blindly and started taking pictures from this online store and posting it on my social media platforms. It wasn't long before people started patronising me. Little did I know that this period was going to be one of the most difficult and challenging times in my entrepreneurial journey. 

To be continued...

La' Heiress Is 3 Today!

La' Heiress is 3 today! (27-06-2016)

Unfortunately, I have not been able to come up with anything to celebrate our 3rd year anniversary. The one thing I did do was to reflect. I reflected on the memories, the good, bad and the ugly memories. And then I thanked God for how far he has brought me.

As lost as I felt then, I just wanted to start and hoped it would count for something. I was unsure, I was afraid, I was happy and sad at the same time. 

Looking back today, I am glad that I started, it has been a challenging journey but God has been faithful. I am not yet where I want to be but I am on the right path.

I have given up. I have lost hope but most of all, I have learnt, I am stronger and I am moving forward, little by little we are getting there. 

Thank you to everyone who has ever believed in me or the brand. In some way, you all have been a source of inspiration to me. 

In the spirit of the our 3rd year anniversary, we would be offering our full wedding planning services to a special couple. 

This couple will also be eligible to receive all our complementary gifts and services which are:

- A customised guestbook

- Our Customised backdrop with the couple's pictures, a red rug and wedding props

- Our La' Heiress gift bag for the bride

- Two on site event coordinators and many more...

* You must follow our instagram account; @laheiress

* You must be getting married between January and July, 2017.

* Your Wedding must be in Lagos or Ibadan.

* Tell us why we should plan your wedding in 150 words. Please add your wedding details, location and date.

Send all details to: olamide@la-heiress.com

May the odds be in your favour! 

Happy Anniversary to La' Heiress. 

The Journey (Series 4)

The race is not given to the swift but to those who endure to the end.

We now had more than enough hostesses to start an ushering agency. We charged each potential usher N1,000 for their forms during the audition and this kind of put me under a lot of pressure to get the girls jobs.

But the jobs were no where to be found. I started wondering if I had made yet another mistake. Some of the ladies started sending me stinker messages. 

I had honestly thought that once I had gotten the hostesses, the jobs will automatically start flowing in. I was wrong, very wrong. 

I started thinking about my former bosses and how easy I thought they got jobs. Then I suddenly remembered one of my bosses statements, in which she asked us (her girls) if we thought it was easy for her to get ushering jobs. 

It had never occurred to me until that moment, that it wasn't going to be easy and I was going to have to work hard to get jobs, to gain the much needed experience that was needed for my agency to grow. My heart sank.

I was under immense pressure after demanding N1,000 from the girls, the stinker text messages were getting to me. Potential clients wanted pictures of previous jobs done and I had none to offer while some other clients wanted outfits that I did not have then. 

This went on for about 4 months, I was vigorously advertising on every platform available. Then one good day, I received a call from an old friend. He told me it was his younger brother's wedding and his contribution was to provide the hostesses for the event and he thought about me because I had been advertising relentlessly on all my social media accounts. (you are the best person to advertise your business) story for another day.

He told me their colour for the day and I told him I would get the outfits. He also mentioned that he did not have much money and that he really needed to contribute his part for the wedding. From N5,000 per girl that I charged him, he bargained to N3,000. I was desperate, I needed the job to keep the girls and also to give me some ray of hope.

I accepted.

It was after I had sealed the deal that it dawned on me that I had to get outfits, I became frantic, I wanted them to look nice but I also needed to make or buy an outfit they could reuse again. 

I also kept thinking of how much I would be able to give the ladies if I bought the outfits from the N3,000 which wasn't even near enough. 

I had to get money somehow. I bought a black and white striped peplum top at N1,500 each and I had to buy 10. I asked the girls to bring black pencil skirts. I also bought red accessories (belts and fascinators) since their colour had a touch of red in it. This cost me an extra N500 on each girl.

I paid the ladies the whole N3,000 and was left with nothing. In fact, it was a loss because I had to spend my money to buy the tops and accessories but I decided not to see it as a loss but rather considered it an investment, an investment that was to jump start La' Heiress Hospitality Services to greater heights.

To be continued...

The Journey (Series 3)

I am learning to trust the journey even when I do not understand it~ Mila Bron

I started with the planning, I still wasn't sure about it but I decided to start. I had this friend, Barrister Akatu AKA Mister Fantastic, as the name implied, he was fantastic, he was my go to person. I don't think anyone believed in me then as much as he did. He was never tired of telling me how much he believed in me and he was just the right person to be with at the time. 

From the moment I told him about my plans, he went from gear 1 to gear 5 in no time. We were able to fix a date for an audition, he went all out for me. He coined the name La' Heiress, so I owe it to God and him. He will always be the number one fan of La' Heiress. He would call me from work if an idea popped into his head, he would send pictures of outfits he thought the hostesses could wear for events. He was EVERYTHING. 

This simply goes to show that with the right person by your side, the right counsel and encouragement, you can pretty much achieve anything. 

During this period, I remember asking friends and family members to help advertise on their different social media platforms but no one was willing to, except a few and I could not force them. So I vigorously advertised on my social media platforms, I wasn't ready to give up, I had spent too much money already to give up now.

We had our first audition on the 27th of July, 2013. We had over 50 ladies which was more than I had thought we would have. It was a huge success.

To be continued...

The Journey (Series 2)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

THE STRUGGLE 

I was all over the place, I was worried. My mother was worried. My siblings were worried but being the first of three siblings, they could not really come out to ask questions about my "all over the place" skills. 

I was sad, depressed and discouraged. It seemed like I was on the wrong path, like nothing was going to work out. I felt like a failure. I was broke and everything was hard. 

I went from one place to another, advertising what I did. I did not give up. I was shy at first but I knew I had to shake it off. I got lots of discouraging advises. I remember a particular friend that publicly used my picture on her dp and wrote, " my friend, gbogbo owo" with a laughing hysterically emoticon. Translation- my friend of all businesses.

And the men, yes the Men! You know them, the ones that won't give you anything unless they are getting something in return... I encountered a couple of them. 

Some patronized me while some told me I was too pretty to be selling Garri and some said that I didn't need to do anything, yet whenever I asked them for money, which was always very hard for me to ask, it was always one story or the other. It wasn't pleasant but my journey will be incomplete without mentioning them, because in some way, they had encouraged me without even knowing it.

I still wonder why many men are that way though. I mean, you have the means to help, help if you want to. You don't need to demand for something in return but I guess such is life.

Thinking about it now, I am glad they wanted something in return because it made me realise that I wanted more with my life and that I needed to act and fast too. I did not want to be at the mercy of others to survive. Like my sister always ask after an experience, be it bad or good, "What have you learnt from this?"

I learnt to give when I have because I have experienced what it is like to have nothing.

I also learnt to encourage people, especially new business owners because a negative comment can totally crush you and end a dream. 

Another thing I learnt is that many of your so called friends and family will not encourage your start up business. It is just the way it is. At first, you will feel hurt but after a while, you will adjust and later realise that you are the best marketer for your business. 

Even though, I was discouraged from every angle, I didn't give up because a wise man once told me to prepare my mind and be my own author, he also told me that people will discourage you at first then grow to respect your brand but only if you decide not to give in to their negativity. Thank you Eniola Oyeyode.

It was during this period that I realised that I had a passion, a passion that I had not known was there until I started ushering with different agencies. 

I saw a different me whenever I was ushering at an event. Many people saw and still see ushers/hostesses at events as trashy. But I saw us as heroes, it is not easy to coordinate a wedding or help assist people or stand in heels for more than 8 hours or try explaining to stubborn guests why they cannot sit on a seat that has been assigned to another or help with serving of food and generally making sure that the event runs smoothly. If that is trashy then I would love to be trashy over and over again.

My boss will sometimes put me in charge of some jobs whenever she had more than one event or just felt I was capable of handling the job, coupled with the fact that I was a Corper which also meant that I was older than many of the girls that were ushering at the time but I had the stature of a 15 year old. (still do) *big grin*

During this period, I saw ladies who were just as hardworking and many of them sending themselves to school and helping in their various homes financially. 

I also saw some loopholes and that was when it dawned on me that I wanted to be a leader with a difference. I wanted to help ladies and people generally. I had worked with a couple of ushering agencies, done a couple of jobs without getting paid and with no training whatsoever!

It was then I decided that I wanted to be a different kind of leader. I wanted to make an impact in my society.

To be continued...

The Journey (Series 1)

The Journey (series 1)

It's been a long and inspirational journey for me, from being absolutely broke, to depending on people for money, to starting businesses, to failing at several attempts, to starting over,  to getting discouraged, to that ray of hope, to finally getting there...

When I was 12 years old, I wanted be an accountant. At 15, I wanted to be a lawyer. At 17, I still dreamt of being a lawyer even though I was 'given' Philosophy in school and had two extra years (story for another day). At 23, I wanted to be an office girl but I had no idea of where I wanted to work, all I knew was that I wanted to work in an office from 8am to 5pm. It was my dream. 

While I was in secondary school, I ventured into a lot of things, I sold accessories, had a mobile library where I rented novels, baked queens cake and sold the cakes in other schools because I just couldn't bring myself to selling the cakes in my own school. 

In the University, I sold under wears, brought my mobile video CD rentals to school, made beaded accessories, a cake baker as well. I did a lot. Whenever we were on strike, I would go to my sister's school to sell my hand made beaded accessories. I did the things I thought I enjoyed doing but it was all basically not to be idle.

When OAU decided to finally release me, Lol. I joined in the family business of selling Garri Ijebu. Which is now branded "LMD Garri Ijebu" and also selling of smoked catfish. I started learning the art of fashion designing. I cooked food for bachelors while they were still at work (thank God for my mother, for teaching me how to cook like a proper naija girl), I also registered with some ushering agencies to make more money apart from my NYSC allowance.

With all these, I still felt lost. I had no sense of direction as to what I wanted to do with my life. I just kept doing everything I thought I loved because I hated being Idle and broke and I also hated asking people for money (I still do). I am proud like that!

To be continued....

Life The Way I See It

Life The Way I See It

Contrary to the popular belief that life begins at 40, I have always believed that life begins at 30. For me, 30 is significant. It means my early youth is over and my more mature youth is taking over. 

When I was younger, I used to lie about my age, for some reason, I just felt the need to lie about my real age. I still do not understand the reason behind this till date. I even put a fake date of birth on some of my certificates back then. I always dreaded the question, " how old are you?". It made me feel insecure in some funny way. Thinking about it now, it was probably one of the silliest things to worry about.

I will be 30 soon and many times, I have asked myself if I had utilized my 'twenties' years well. If I am an achiever, If I am where I want to be, so many "if's".  I secretly compare myself with others, measuring their successes with mine but the truth is I will never know and here is why...

Depending on what 'achievement' means to you, it could be wealth, it could be success in whatever you find yourself doing, it could be getting married and starting a family... Whatever it is, someone somewhere started earlier, someone somewhere is wealthier or more popular or more successful in whatever it is that they are doing and you will always wonder if you started early enough or if you are where you are supposed to be. 

So I decided that instead of worrying myself sick and wondering if I am where I am supposed to be, I would rather start something because I am a strong believer of "it is never too late".

It was never too late for some great achievers and It won't be late for me. The first step is to start, so I started and gradually kept moving forward.

Do I feel I could have started earlier, yes, I do. Have I made some stupid choices in my life, yes, I have. I am human, I have made very silly decisions that I wish I could take back but hey, that's life and this is MY LIFE, I am the hero of my own story. I dictate what happens in it. 

Take your story in your hands today, it is never too late to start over! Be proud of your age, it is a blessing to still be alive. People will try to discourage you but listen to yourself because in the end, only you matter.

Love,

Olamide

Welcome to my Life Changing Blog Series

Welcome To My Life Changing Revelation Blog

I am Olamide, a Wedding Planner and Lead Consultant at La’ Heiress Hospitality Services. I love to write, talk and cook.

This series was motivated by someone who tried to bring me down. Whatever ‘their’ reasons were, I have decided not to let it bother me but to make the best out of it. At every point in my life, someone or some sets of people have tried to discourage me, whether I accept it or not, a bad advice or a bad comment or remark can have negative effects on the mind. 

For a very long time, knowingly or unknowlingly, I allowed myself to be victimized, but on the 2nd of July, I had a life changing revelation in which someone tried yet again to make me feel lesser than I should and bring me down but this time, I made up my mind to say No! I will not allow anybody make me feel lesser than I should no more.

Hence this series, where I would be sharing both the good and bad moments in my life and how I have made the best out of these situations. This is going to be a part of me that you all did not know about. I will be revealing truths about myself and my life in general. It promises to be fun!

I honestly do hope that by expressing my life experiences and how I have made the best out of these situations I somehow found myself in, I will be helping others feel elevated in some kind of way. Please feel free to express yourself, your opinion does not have to be the same as mine. Your comments are welcome. Thank you.

Love,
Olamide